Chopsticks
by murda981
Summary: A one shot that is in the same universe as my other story 'Time Warp'. What happens when someone tries to teach Hawke's Companions how to eat with Chopsticks. None of the Companions has a larger role than the other really. Just listed some for reference.


_This is just something fun that I was thinking about the other day. This is just a one shot to go with my story Time Warp. This is set while that story takes place but I felt that it wouldn't do much for the plot so I decided to just make it a one shot on it's own. I thought that it would be highly entertaining to introduce the companions of Hawke to the joys of trying to eat using chopsticks. Anyone who has ever watched someone unfamiliar with them learn how to use them know how funny it can be. I hope you enjoy it!_

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><p>Chopsticks<p>

It was another night of trying to entertain and inform the Companions of Marion Hawke, the Champion of Kirkwall, for Max and her friends. They had pulled out a few movies that they thought would be fun, although Max suspected that her entertainment for the evening would be when the food got there, they were having Chinese.

They had ordered a wide variety of food; wonton soup, beef lo mein, moo goo gai pan, kung pao chicken, moo shoo pork, and more. It had already been funny just watching the expressions on their faces as Kyle had ordered the food over the phone. They looked at him like he was insane saying some of the words. She had even noticed Isabela and Varric snickering because they thought some of them sounded funny.

When the food arrived Max and Ethan took the bags while Kyle paid the delivery woman. Everyone gathered in the kitchen while they started pulling the boxes out of the bags and opening them to see what they were.

"I don't think I have even smelled anything like that before," Merrill said looking curiously at the food.

"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?" Max asked as she put out plates and forks and knives.

"I'm not sure, I don't think it's bad though," Merrill replied.

"It's good, trust me!" Ethan said. Somehow he had already filled a plate, and his mouth, with food.

"Don't talk with your mouth full. Mom would kill you," Kay snapped.

Ethan's reply to his sister was very mature; he stuck his tongue out at her, his tongue which was still half covered in food.

"Ugh, you're so gross," Kay said in disgust.

"What do they give you sticks for?" Isabela asked watching Max pull apart the wooden chopsticks that the restaurant had provided with the food.

"They are chopsticks. In most Asian countries they don't use forks and knives, they use these," Max replied.

"They use sticks? To eat? How do they do that? Do they just stab the food with the stick?" Anders asked incredulously.

Varric chuckled, "I bet Daisy does just fine with them. Don't the Dalish eat with sticks?"

"No Varric, the Dalish do not eat with sticks," Merrill replied, sounding a little annoyed.

"Here, I'll show you how they work," Max said. She used her chopsticks to deftly pick up some of the pork fried rice that she was eating and put it in her mouth. When she had swallowed she said, "See, easy!"

"That's actually kind of cool," Varric said.

"Wanna try? We can try to teach you," Max said smiling. She hoped they thought that the smile was because she wanted to help, not for the high entertainment value she would get from watching them not be able to eat because they couldn't master the chopsticks.

"Why not? I would like to give it a try at least," Anders said.

"I can't help, never could manage to master the damn things. I don't wanna have to work that hard just to get the food from the plate to my mouth," Kyle said.

"If you could get away with it you would just shovel the food in with your bare hands," Max replied flatly.

"Yep!" Kyle said with a grin.

After some coaxing the rest of the group decided to at least attempt to learn how to use the chopsticks. Max, Kay and Ethan showed them how to hold the chopsticks properly. This part of the process seemed to go rather smoothly. They then showed them simply how to open and close the ends of the chopsticks so they could pick up food. This part went relatively well as well, but then Max knew the funny part would be when they tried to actually pick up the food.

The three rogues had the least trouble mastering the chopsticks. The dexterity they had gained over years of picking locks giving them an advantage. Aveline did surprisingly well; Max had figured that the warriors wouldn't do as well.

"Vishante! How do people eat with these cursed things!" Fenris exclaimed angrily after trying for a few minutes to pick up a piece of chicken and failing miserably. Max was trying desperately not to start laughing at him.

"I didn't think that they were that difficult," Sebastian replied, deftly picking up a piece of beef. Max had almost hoped he would have been horrible with them, the smug prick.

"By the dread wolf! The food keeps falling off of these!" Merrill exclaimed.

"For once I have to agree with the two of them, how can people eat with these blighted things?" Anders said in frustration.

Max and Kay lost their battle with their laughter at the same time. They were giggling hysterically watching them fight with their food.

"I'm so glad you find the idea of us starving funny," Anders said, trying to hide a smirk.

"Bah," Max said with a wave of her hand when she had regained control of her laughter. "You won't starve we have other utensils. Besides there are well over a billion people in the world that use these to eat every day, and I have know how to use them since I was a kid. It isn't that hard!" She couldn't hide the grin at the fact that she knew that some people did find using chopsticks difficult and she had been anticipating the entertainment of them being among those who had trouble with using them.

"Here, let me see if we can make it a bit easier for you," Ethan said as he grabbed some rubber bands. He was always the one to try to help people.

Ethan took the chopsticks from Merrill first and wrapped a rubber band around the thick end of the chopsticks, where you are supposed to hold them, and wedged a rolled up piece of napkin in between them just below the rubber band. "See if that makes it easier," he said handing them back to Merrill. He then did the same for Fenris and Anders.

"Thank you, that does seem to help," Fenris said.

Merrill was still having a bit of trouble; she got a few bites before she gave in and decided to just use a fork. Anders and Fenris both seemed to do better on the larger chunks of food but continued to have problems with the rice. Eventually all of the Dragon Agers switched to the forks when they could no longer pick up the rice. Even Kyle had given up on the chopsticks at some point.

"I have a question," Merrill said hesitantly. "Maybe I shouldn't ask, it's probably silly."

Max looked a Merrill, "Go ahead and ask Merrill, I'm sure that it's fine."

"How do they eat soup?" Merrill asked innocently.

Max laughed so hard she snorted.

Merrill stammered a bit, "I knew I shouldn't have asked. It was stupid, never mind." She was blushing a bit and looking slightly embarrassed.

"No Merrill. Its fine," Max said between laughs. "They do use spoons." Max smiled at Merrill trying to reassure the elf.

"Max, why do I get the impression that we were just your dinner theater for the evening?" Varric asked with a knowing smile.

"Why Varric, I don't know what you are implying. You all are my dinner theater every evening!"


End file.
